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From Girl Scouts to "Girl, Scoot"

The whole (extremely stoopid) story.

In 1974 my parents/the school system decided to skip me a grade. No big deal, but it wasn’t a standard procedure back then so they were trying to figure it all out. They decided to pull me from my second grade class mid year, throw me into 3rd and then proceed from there. It made a lot of the teachers angry and other parents even angrier. Anyway, academically I was ok, but socially? I fell in with bad crowd.


Flashover to Girl Scouts. I stayed in the same troop; the leader was my bestie’s mom. But because I had to keep up with my new, older ,“cooler” mean girl crew GS was the perfect place for me to “make my bones” (low risk). It started out innocently enough. Maybe the troop assistant didn’t remember to bring those cups. Or that glitter. Or their infant. From “hide the supplies” I graduated to the “Missing Child” ploy. Parents showed up; no me. Mad search. Dumbasses didn’t think I could figure out how to stand on the toilet?? I was a grade skipper for fuck’s sake.

The final straw, and this one did include the two who were the puppet masters. Wish Circle. (and this is controversial. Other people don’t remember telling wishes, and it does sound stupid, but that’s how my troop rolled). So, make your wish, squeeze your neighbors hand, pass the wish. Then, reverse the circle and tell the wish. Mean Girl One, Marcy S, burps. Mean Girl Two Leslie L, burps. Try Hard Me? Farts. Really loudly (and in all honesty, it was pretty easy. My stomach was in knots constantly. I wasn’t naturally eviiiiiil). It was the gas that broke the camel’s back and I was summarily executed. Or BANISH-ED. My parents tried, but the Troop Leader, formerly my other mother, stood firm. Because, duh, “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY DAUGHTER WHO SKIPPED”


Another troop volunteered to take me, but my parents decided to get a divorce, and the energy just wasn’t there :(

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